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What incurable desease can do.

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Today has been a hard day.

I have someone, who’s been in my heart for a long time. We rarely talk, we rarely seen each other, and we rarely contact. But he’s there, among all the fuss and dates with other guys, he’s always been there.

It’s sad, that we could not proceed, even long before. Just because our responsibilities differs.

Today,  i have received his text.

Actually i’ve been meaning to tell you that i’m moving back to JB. I’ve quit my job at my firm and will be in jb taking care of my sick sister. I am coming back to KL to take my things and move out of my apartment. Just fyi.


I replied: Okay.

I cried my heart out. I really didn’t know what to do and how to answer. I know it took him quite some time to have the courage to tell me that. We rarely meet even though we were 15 minutes away. What more, 5 hours apart. But I’ve told myself, be strong. God must have His reason to let us depart from each other. His sister need her, more than I do. Perhaps it will be good for me too. A permanent distant would let two of us recover. Perhaps the sister need him, perhaps he need his sister, and perhaps I too need this distance.


After a few hours, I choose to text him back.

I know you did what’s best for you and i’m proud of your decision. I’m sorry, for not being there when you need me the most. I’m sorry, for not being able to shelter your emotion. I wish I could, if you let me. I’m sorry I’m not the one. Meet me before you go back. I have something for your sister. I’ve been keeping it for a long time.


I bought myself a Coach handbag previously. But i’ve never got the chance to use it. Since last year, I told myself perhaps I should give it to her sister. Now, it is definitely the right time.

We’ve been struggling. He’s the eldest in his family, and her sister is struggling with a disease where one day, she couldn’t write, move or talk. She’s a handicap now. The life would be shorten too.

And I, struggling with my sick father who has been diagnosed with Parkinson early last year. It’s been a year, that I’ve slowly seen my father’s becoming more weaker. From a man who could drive for 8 hours before, the siblings and I took the responsibility of the driving now.

My love life is unfortunate for now. Half way through, I know we couldn’t make it. Sometime, we need to sacrifice for more important people, our family. But I believe the love will come again. Perhaps not with him, but with others.



Written by jennastyles676

May 1, 2012 at 10:04 pm

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